


Mom?

by Your-Wings-Of-Freedom (Bleeding_Thirium)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Kuchel and Levi, Levi Ackerman Wholesome, Levi Ackerman misses his mom, Levi ackerman hurt/comfort, Multi, Other, kuchel ackerman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26138512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bleeding_Thirium/pseuds/Your-Wings-Of-Freedom
Summary: If Levi got the chance to talk to his Mom...
Relationships: Kuchel Ackerman & Levi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	Mom?

**Author's Note:**

> This was going somewhere and then it wasn’t. It’s been stuck in my head so I wanted to get this out of the way before I get to my requests. This was actually such a challenge to write TT^TT

**_‘…What the hell?’  
_** Steel grey orbs cast their gaze over a set of shelves that had a nice display of different matching sets of teacups and teapots, as his eyes continued to sweep across the room, on the wall opposite was a set of shelves that housed a decent array of tea leaves.

**_‘What is this?’  
_** He seemed to be in an empty teashop. Not a bad place to be if you asked him. But how did he get here? What the hell was he doing here? Had he died? Is this what the after-life looked like? Tch. He couldn’t decide whether it was a decent replacement of ‘heaven’ or not. A quaint teashop didn’t sound all that bad… but it still begged the question of what the hell was going on? Is this a dream? It feels different than a dream.  
His dreams…well… he didn’t dream. He had nightmares.  
  
He glanced down and found his was still in his uniform, minus the green cape that proudly wore the emblem they stood for, and the heavy weight of the ODM gear. Still, he wore the brown jacket with the Wings of Freedom patches proudly on display on the upper arms of the jacket. Even without the ODM gear, he still wore the straps and boots that came with the uniform, signature cravat too. Luckily for him, he was in pristine condition; not even a speck of dust on his uniform. Impeccably clean.

“Hi Baby.” 

His head snapped up from inspecting his uniform, grey eyes widening at the sound of a voice behind him, lips parted as a shaky gasp fell past. It can’t be. He knew that voice. He spent quiet moments in the late hours of the night (or early hours of the morning) fearing he was beginning to forget what that voice sounded like.  
  
But he could never forget. It was full of what this world was robbed of; purity, sweetness, beauty, comfort.  
  
Head still face forwards, his orbs travelled sideways, managing to catch a glimpse of a long flow of raven locks. While it couldn’t exactly confirm anything, there was no denying that it only added to the list of key factors.  
  
He was too scared to turn around. Heh. Could you believe it? A boy who lost someone he loved so much, had the opportunity to talk to them, and now he couldn’t find it in himself to turn around. Could you blame him though? The shit that he’s seen, that he’s gone through… this almost feels like it’s a cruel joke. That he’s going to turn around and find someone else, or _something_ else.  
  
The rapid beating of his heart worked in overdrive as his lungs stopped working, unable to breathe, he swore he could hear the blood rushing through his veins in his ears as he finally turned around and his steel grey eyes rested upon one of the most beautiful women who ever graced his life.  
  
“Mom?” a man in his thirties asked the question like a scared a little child.  
  
The woman, his **_mom_** , let out the softest, sweetest sound of laughter he’d ever heard. Genuinely having forgotten what her laughter had sounded. He watched as her eyes closed when her smile reached those twinkling orbs, lips that produced one of the most beautiful smiles were pulled back to show a set of gleaming white teeth, long locks of raven hair swayed slightly with the sound of laughter from her.  
  
“You’ve grown into quite the handsome young man.”   
  
Part of him wanted to run to her, touch her, hug her, make sure she’s real and not just a figment of his imagination, or some cruel trick. But he stayed where he was, and she made no attempts to move closer to him, sensing the hesitancy within him. A mother’s intuition never dies.  
  


He glanced around the tea-shop, taking it in before his eyes cast back on the woman before him. “…Am I dead?”  
Her smile of laughter dropped to a more gentle smile, “No, baby. It’s not your time. You’re only dreaming.”  
  
He’s dreaming of his mother in a tea-shop of all places? The hell? Why here? Why not in a field of flowers where there’s blue sky and a warm sun? The thing he longed to be able to give his mom and yet they were still stuck in a room full of walls?  
  
He took a few steps to glance outside the window of the teashop, surprised to see a blue sky up above them with the odd bird flying by. So, they weren’t in the underground then? Good. It’d be a really shitty dream if that were the case – to have his mom here still stuck underground.  
  
His gaze dropped from looking at the sky to resting on the street before them, though not really focusing his gaze on something in particular. She was quietly watching him, always having all the patience in the world with him. He really has grown into quite the handsome man. Not exactly the hairstyle she would have chosen for him but it suited him well.

  
“You look sad Levi.” Her soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts and his eyes cast back over to her. He stared at her for a good few moments. The waves of emotion crashing in those grey orbs of his; trying to remain suspicious of his ‘mother’, thinking it’s nothing more than a cruel joke – almost expecting a titan to appear, but quickly losing the fight because he just _wants his mom._ Then there’s so much he wants to say to her but he can’t find the right words, and so much has happened – the majority of it comes from a copious amount of lives lost beneath his command and -  
  
“Don’t, sweetheart. Don’t do that to yourself.” She suddenly interrupted his train of thought, reading him like a book.  
“Do what?” It was probably stupid to play dumb but he did so anyway. He didn’t want to worry her, or fill her with all the negative shit he deals with on a daily basis. This is his mom. He didn’t want to drag her down. Steel eyes hardened as he tried to cover up the wave of emotions washing over him, but failed to do so under his mother’s gaze.  
  
“Blame yourself. None of it was your fault.”

His lips parted to argue against her but words failed upon him. Especially when his gaze met his mother’s and she knowingly stared back at him. He couldn’t help but buckle beneath it. So he chose to remain silent, knowing if he didn’t, his voice would give away just how much he was truly struggling.  
  
“I’ve watched you make some of the toughest decisions, Levi. I’ve watched you force yourself to do things you didn’t want to do for the sake of achieving a greater success. No regrets, remember? Isn’t that what you said? I’ve watched you lose people and carry the weight of that burden upon your shoulders. You feel their loss and you carry it heavily in your heart while putting on a strong face. No one else has that kind of strength. I watch how you still manage to carry your comrades through it all, despite all of what has been lost. ‘Humanity’s Strongest’ – I believe it.”  
This earned Levi’s typical ‘Tch’ scoff, which made his Mom smile slightly in amusement before it softened to a genuine smile, “I’m proud of you Levi. I’m so, so proud.”  
  
His eyes had long since trailed off his Mom as he stared at one of the chairs, listening to her words, but they snapped up when she said she was proud of him. What the hell was there anything to be proud of? And out came one of the deepest fears he carries with him on a daily basis. “I couldn’t protect them. I couldn’t protect you!”  
  
“Oh sweetheart…” Narrowed grey eyes watched as his Mom moved from where she was standing, now that Levi didn’t seem overly suspicious or hostile, and walked over to him, cupping his face in her hands. His eyes widened at how gentle and soft her touch was. Not realizing, until now, just how much he had truly missed everything about her.  
  


“I wanted to get you out of that wretched place. I wanted you see the sunlight, feel it on your skin.”  
She smiled softly at him, her gaze adoringly held his. What did she do to deserve such a kind-hearted son? Her thumb softly caressed his cheek, “I do, Levi. Every time you ride out and look up at the sky, I see it through your eyes. Don’t ever stop cherishing those small moments. You suffer so much pain, I don’t want you to lose sight of the little moments that matter.”  
  
She pulled him into the warmest embrace he’s ever felt - then again, he’s not exactly the hugging, physical-affection type of guy, but in this moment he melted beneath her embrace. His arms wrapping around her and burying his face in her neck, where she also tucked him in, her cheek resting upon his raven locks. His eyes fluttered shut at the warmth and peace that enveloped him. The smell of jasmine overcoming his senses, was this his Mom’s preferred smell? She never had such luxuries like perfume. If she smelt like Jasmine… he must start remembering to keep an eye out for some. He felt his Mom’s arms tighten ever so slightly around him. Suddenly everything felt alright. Safe. He’s never had that feeling before.  
  
“…I miss you Mom. I wish you were here.” He whispered, fingers gripping her a little bit tighter, too scared to let her go. He felt her move ever so slightly as she pressed her lips to his head in a tender kiss, whispering back, “I’m always here baby.”

A lone tear slid down his cheek. He missed her. He missed her so much. He often wondered whether his Mom would have been proud of him, or disappointed in him. But she was nothing but supportive, loving, encouraging, empathetic. Just how he remembered her to be. She may not have had the most glamourous job underground, but that never stopped Levi in believing her to be one of the most graceful souls he’s ever known.

Light faded to dark as he stirred awake, feeling the tear slip down his cheek. It wasn’t often he fell asleep for a long period of time to the point where the candle was almost dying out. Still, it made a nice change to dream about his Mom rather than be riddled with nightmares.  
  
Rubbing his sleeve against his cheek to the wipe the tear away, he stood up from the desk and stretched his limbs out from being slumped over the desk too long. Suppose he was lucky that the dream didn’t last too long otherwise his Mom would’ve reprimanded him for his bad habits. Probably even worse when it came to the shit that comes out of his mouth sometimes. And also how he could be a little more lenient on the kids.

He walked over to the window and leaned against the wall, arms crossed, as he glanced up at the night sky where the stars shimmered like diamonds and the moon shone brightly. _‘…Every time you look up at the sky, I see it through your eyes….’_

  
_Okay Mom_.

**Author's Note:**

> Might do one for Petra. Have Levi tell her he loves her or whatever. Depends on how well-received this fic is and whether or not readers consider it slightly too out of character (which I won’t take offence. I tried to keep him in character but he’s also quite complex).
> 
> Also my lil HC is that Jasmine reminds him of his Mom. I imagine that she wouldn’t have a lot of access to any nice smelling perfume underground, or if at all, but IF she did, I feel like Jasmine would have been her scent.
> 
> Reviews/thoughts would definitely be appreciated ^^”


End file.
